Say Goodbye

I believed that I could handle this alone,
I thought I could still plaster that fraud grin upon my face,
To camouflage my inner most feelings,
I had done well to protect those emotions from resurfacing,
But this time; why had everything else gone wrong?
Why won't my smile work anymore?
How miserably wrong I had been to bottle up my feelings,
Now it is time to let it over pour; and it floods throughout my body,
all the emotions, all the sadness, all the hurt.
and I can't help but shed tears and whimper at these wistful memories,
wistful but pleasant,
such blithe but saddening memories,
I smiled, a pure sense of fondness that spread my memories,
while the tears kept flowing,
I would like to forget, forget to think,
oh but how do I forget; for I would be cutting out a small but special piece of my past,
these are just merely but things I don't want to forget; but if they were consigned to oblivion by my memories,
perhaps I need not weep any longer,
Oh but how do I forget to think?
If everything on this bloody planet,
reminds me of you?
Let's play a game,
I'll give you a nickle if you could find at least ten things that don't remind me of you,
how I would like you to win,
but I know that it is almost impossible,
the first time I held your hand; I couldn't believe that this was reality,
for the first time in so many months, had I experience true happiness.
I still couldn't believe, couldn't believe that you were mine.
and when I said goodbye, I couldn't believe how I could have just let you walk out of my life,
I thought I would be fine ,
but the intensity of emotions was to much to overwhelm,
My heart was still broken , and I was tearful day and night.
I would ask myself silently, "do you simply enjoy hurting me?"
you sprinkled salt to my wound,
and added lemon to the concoction,
but I've gotten used to that,
it was a burden to keep it all in, but I finally let it out,
those days apart, I would sigh forlornly ,
looking up at the sky,
oh it's that time day of day again,
still my favourite time of day,
where the bright orange sun would set against the azure sky,
and it's bright orange rays would spill across the horizon,
but that day I started to weep, for what i saw had been disastrously far from the bright orange sky,
how it used to be a reminder of our once upon a time,
when you said goodbye; you took the orange in the sky with you,
and now only a pink-peach blush is left to cascade among the skies.